It’s the International Day of Happiness and it made me take a drive up to memory lane! What has been the main ingredient that has contributed to my happiness?
In my pursuit of happiness I’ve learned from yoga that we shouldn’t pursue to be happy, but to work towards inner peace, equanimity.
To make this more visual for you, imagine that you are a pendulum and the center is your inner peace. If you move from your center, it can go to the left towards –sadness- or to the right towards –happiness-. Because of how nature works, we have this duality in life; Yin/Yang, positive/negative. This means that sadness will always follow happiness, and you will be the “happiest” if you pursue inner peace (I’ll get deeper into this subject another time).
I have a list of things that have contributed to my “happiness”. If I need to choose, the most important thing would be: stop worrying about what others think of me!
I’ve always strived for peace and harmony around me, so naturally I wanted everyone to like me; my parents, family, friends, acquaintances, workmates, past lovers. I had this idea in my mind of what was expected from me, and from this reference point I would do / not do things and say / not say things.
I ended up not doing the things that my soul craved to do, not being happy in my body, shutting down my feminine side, do a Bachelors & Masters degree that I hated on a daily basis, 3 burnouts and depressions, to name a few things. I didn’t realize at all that I was giving my power away and setting myself up for daily unhappiness.
I can clearly remember the day that I had a wake-up call and decided to do whatever the fuck I wanted to do. I felt I had no other option than to find out for myself if “this new way to do things” was the path to my happiness.
“What others think of me is none of my business!”
And yes, the key was to start worrying less about what others thought of me and just follow my heart. I was so curious about myself, I wanted to know all about ME and be this better person for myself. It brought me so many new experiences and I’ve not only learned so much about myself, but I’ve learned how to trust myself and my choices again. I’m so proud of where I am today!
But it’s an on-going thing guys! I’ve been at it for more than a decade, it’s been a long long process and I am still work in progress. But I’m shedding more than ever before, and I am going for progress not perfection. It feels like there is this limitless well of “happiness”. The more I let go, the less I care, the more I get rewarded by feeling connected to my true essence and experience moments of bliss.
So, are you ready to be happier?
Start by observing your thoughts. Whenever you come to the realization that you are (not) saying/doing something because of what others might think of you, take a moment and PAUSE!
– “What would X person(s) think of me if I did Y?”
– “Why would it matter?”
– “What underlying fear is causing this?”
I just want you to start out with these 3 questions! You are not in a hurry to change up everything 1-2-3, but I want you to be aware of the things that you are not doing, even though your heart says YES.
I want you to be aware that you are robbing yourself from your own happiness by giving your power away to things that are totally out of your control anyway!
This is your life to live! Yes YOUR LIFE, nobody else’s. You have 1 life. And the most amazing thing is that you have the power to change things up if you are not in love with it; Happiness is a choice you make. No buts or ifs.
Happy International Day of Happiness!